I. Hate. Cats.

Apparently, back in the day when Jewish settlers were colonizing what is now Israel, there was a bit of a rat problem. Don’t get me wrong, I hate rats as much as the next person–they’re truly vile. But, as this was long before rat-annhilating chemicals were invented, they decided that the solution to this problem was to breed hundreds of thousands of cats, which would keep the rat population in check.

But now Israel has a bit of a cat problem.

This place is overrun with wild, disease-ridden, flea-infested cats. Completely and thoroughly overrun. I swear, they’re going to have to carve out a separate state for the cats as well as one for the Palestinians. I mean, really. I’m far more afraid of the cats than I am of suicide bombers.

No matter where you go, you’re always on the lookout for a feral cat that might jump out of the trash and give you some horribly rare disease that you have to take 85 kinds of antibiotics to cure. They fight all the time. Approximately every 10 minutes, you hear a noise so awful that you seriously think someone is being ax murdered right outside your window. Horrified, thinking you should have your phone ready to call the police, you jump up and look outside. Nope. No homicidal maniac. Not even any people. Two cats, backs arched and hair raised, screeching at each other so loudly that people in Tibet can probably hear them.

The worst part is that, despite the advent of, say, inanimate rat-killing agents, the Israeli government still isn’t making any efforts to spay or neuter the cats. They breed like crazy. This week was a time of phenomenal growth for the cat community, as there are now at least 7 litters of kittens running around. They look so adorable and fluffy…until you see the mama cat, all mangy and scarred from all her trash-bin fights. Then you remember that the kitten is basically a cute, fluffy petri dish of exotic, disgusting diseases.

So, for the record: if I never find the right guy, I will buy 10 dogs before I ever become a crazy cat lady. Ugh.

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