WIAW: When Horoscopes Fail

Confession: I enjoy reading horoscopes. I take them with a huuuuuuuuuuge grain of salt (ok, more like a block of salt), but they’re right up there with the People Magazine crossword puzzle on the list of “Generally Insipid Things That I Find Really Entertaining.”

It’s a good thing I take them with a huge grain of salt, because they’re often totally off base. To wit, here’s today’s Aquarius horoscope from Elle Magazine:

Fairy-tale romances might not be your schtick, but don’t dismiss them altogether O’ Cynical One. Today’s auspicious alignment between the sun and Jupiter could deliver a dashing soul on a modern-day version of the white steed. This cosmic duo gives you an extra serving from the cup of courage. If your heart’s been beating a little quicker when a certain someone is near, this is the day to nudge the attraction to the next obvious level. Ooh la la!

Um. Since I’m married and all, this makes me extra, super-duper inclined to be O’ Cynical One (well ok, O’ Skeptical One is more accurate, but whatevs). I will, however, slather gratuitous hugs on my unassuming husband. The poor dude will probably think I was possessed by an overly exuberant puppy.

Or, as another case in point, today’s Aquarius reading from the Washington Post:

Right now, whatever you’ve got up your sleeve should stay there — party plans, juicy gossip, insider information, whatever. Avoid over-sharing at all costs, when it comes to your ideas, plans and hopes — especially in front of people you don’t know very well. Mum is the word for you today, so keep your mouth shut and just let everyone else around you assume whatever they want to assume. Become a person-of-mystery and you will succeed in creating quite a buzz around yourself!

Ok, so here’s the thing about me: I never hear about gossip or insider information. I’m incapable of having anything up my sleeve, because I don’t gain access to anything that might be sleeve-worthy. Secondly, the last time I wanted to be a woman of mystery was, like, circa 1990. I’ve since learned that I’m one of the least mysterious people on the planet — Lillian’s the name, embarrassing levels of transparency are the game — so, I can’t think of anything short of having to join the Witness Protection Program that would compel me to become a woman of mystery.

Horoscopes, you fail.

You know what doesn’t fail, though? Food. And, more specifically, the foodie cyber-potluck of What I Ate Wednesday, hosted by the lovely Jenn over at Peas & Crayons, which is incredibly reliable.

Peas and Crayons

And I, friends, am a big fan of reliability. 🙂

So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce some of my meals and snacks from the past week. (They’d like the record to reflect that they also don’t like lame horoscopes.)

 

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Aaaaaand, there you have it. So, tell me…

Do you ever read your horoscope?

What’s on your list of generally insipid things that you actually find really entertaining?
(Please tell me I’m not the only one who has one of these?)

What was your favorite meal from the last week?

17 thoughts on “WIAW: When Horoscopes Fail

  1. jessielovestorun June 19, 2013 / 7:51 am

    What was your favorite meal from last week?…. Um girl, is it bad that I really can’ remember what I ate last week? I would look at my WIAW post, but I didn’t do one.. so damn that doesn’t help! Um… shit, lol.

  2. Liz @ The Girl on Fire Now June 19, 2013 / 7:53 am

    I don’t read horoscopes very often, although one completely fit me
    Facebook, people watching, ET and Access Hollywood
    Croissants and coffee!

  3. liveandbeawesome June 19, 2013 / 8:59 am

    I never take horoscopes seriously, but they’re fun to read!

  4. Charlotte @ Commitness to Fitness June 19, 2013 / 9:08 am

    hahaha i love horoscopes, although i havent read mine in a while. i check them at times you’re probably not supposed to check them- like if i have a major life decision to make, you know, when you’re supposed to be relying on research and analyzing pros and cons, I choose those times to see how mercury is affecting me. i also did that compatibility matcher when my boyfriend and i first started dating to see if he’d call me again. i could have just shaken a magic 8 ball, but where’s the science in that 🙂

  5. megbek June 19, 2013 / 9:45 am

    Ahhh! Gotta love your horoscope predictions… Ha, no, I don’t ever read mine. And I mean that! I just don’t wonder what kind of fallacies I’ll be told day in and day out. I have had some friends, however, who just totally feel like that is the tell all be all… Um, sucks. All your eats look really good, especially that spaghetti squash! I have one staring at me that I need to make! Ah! Have a wonderful day! ❤

  6. livliveslife June 19, 2013 / 10:18 am

    When I was in middle school, I loved reading my horoscope, and I would try to make whatever they said come true or happen. And it never did (duh) so I haven’t read mine in years.
    I love the way you’ve been collage-ing your eats. The spaghetti squash + meatballs looks sooooo good. Your pictures are making me hungry. 🙂

  7. Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama June 19, 2013 / 10:22 am

    Best thing I ate last week was definitely this amazing pizza at a local place called Scratch. Whole wheat dough made fresh that day and tons of awesome toppings, including spinach, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, roasted garlic, and hot cherry peppers. YUM! Now I’m hungry. Love to read horoscopes for the pure entertainment value. It’s amazing how often they are completely wrong/opposite of reality!

  8. Jorie June 19, 2013 / 10:25 am

    Delicious looking eats, Lillian!

    PS if you want to try a horoscope that will have you addicted (seriously), go to astrologyzone.com. Astrologist Susan Miller puts up a 900-word horoscope about each sign on the first of every month. It’s been EERILY accurate since I started reading it a few years ago. Now I check it every month!

  9. chasingchels June 19, 2013 / 10:32 am

    Ahhh I love reading my horoscope! I put no faith in it whatsoever haha but I think it’s really entertaining to read 😛 I read them at the end of the day so that if they somehow became true/hold some truth, it’s not a self fulfilling prophecy….rarely happens but most of the descriptions I’ve found for Libras are me to a T…go figure 😛

  10. thepaceofitall June 19, 2013 / 10:38 am

    Man, I haven’t read a horoscope in forever. Lol, I may want to now, they crack me up! And yum, your food always looks so good!

  11. Kaitlin June 19, 2013 / 12:54 pm

    I think horoscopes are hilarious. I try to see if they relate to my life and surprisingly, the newspaper can be pretty accurate. But then again, I take it with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed this medley of grilled veggies and turkey meat my mom and I made last night.

  12. lifesarunner June 19, 2013 / 1:47 pm

    I love reading horoscopes, mostly because on the odd chance they come true, I get totally spooked! Last week sparked my true obsession with greek yogurt bowls (rather than just with berries) and I’m never going back 🙂

  13. Taryn June 19, 2013 / 3:14 pm

    I read my horoscope every single day.. and I’m an Aquarius too! I actually love it for today though (via Daily Horoscope app): If at first you don’t success, try, try again. And again. And again. And again. You may be feeling ab it cynical about this philosophy right now, Aquarius. You have put forth an amazing amount of effort and you have tried, and tried again with a certain pursuit, yet you probably feel that you aren’t any closer to your goal – or at least you may think you aren’t as close as you should be. You have certain expectations. You have a timeline in your mind. Let go of that, and let things go along without the pressure. Before you know it, you will be where you want to be.

    This was kinda perfect for me to read today, so I had to share it with a fellow Aquarius!

  14. Becky @ Olives n Wine June 19, 2013 / 4:48 pm

    I’m an Aquarius today and after reading that horoscope, I feel like I should have kept some of my future plans to myself rather than tell a few of my friends today! You live and you learn and then you realize it is just a horoscope 😉

  15. Alex @ therunwithin June 19, 2013 / 8:52 pm

    i used to read my horoscope every single day. I haven’t touched one since summer sadly, I need to get back on it.

  16. Meredith June 20, 2013 / 9:41 am

    I’m loving your food collages, as always! I used to be sooo good about keeping up with reading my horoscope, but I’ve fallen off the bandwagon this past year. However, one of my girlfriends insists that hers are ALWAYS spot-on. My favorite meal this week was a veggie burger with lemon & herb dressing in a warm homemade pita. I went to a new sandwich place and was so impressed!

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